I have struggled off and on in life with memories and my dad being who he is or now who he was. And the anger that comes with that and the sadness.
And I really thought in my head that when he died it would all go away. or it wouldnt bug me as much. But man was I wrong. Him dying seems to have made it worse..there are added feelings of guilt, and sadness a different kind of sadness, and hurt.
But just like everything else in life, I will put one foot infront of the other deal with the moment and in the end be just fine.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Life's Fast Balls
You know when life throws you a fast ball..and that fast ball actually hits you really hard and it hurts. It doesnt actually just hurt a little it hurts bad! What do you do?
The average person feels pain, maybe cries a little and then gets up and moves on rubbing the bruise every once in a while, and being made aware of it when it gets hit again or you bump into something.
But what do you do when life throws a few fast balls all at one time? You hurt you really hurt..sometimes you hurt to much to even cry, and you feel paralized and unable to get back up..and when you do get back up the hurt has caused you to put on a lot of padding to keep any more fast balls from hitting you. Only that padding also protects you from the hug that will comfort you, which ends up being a problem. the padding also does another job..it makes it harder to move and walk through life, you end up walking slower then a turtle while waddling like a penguin with all the protection you have put on. Then one day as you watch someone run past you and you want so badly to keep up you take the padding off..But because you have been wearing the padding for so long you are limp without it and you end up falling over face first and crying...letting out your frustration, your pain and then once you stand up again you realize your bruises they have healed and you just have to learn how to run through life again, instead of walking slow like a turtle or waddling down the path like a penguin.
That is until the next fast ball hits you and slows you down again
The average person feels pain, maybe cries a little and then gets up and moves on rubbing the bruise every once in a while, and being made aware of it when it gets hit again or you bump into something.
But what do you do when life throws a few fast balls all at one time? You hurt you really hurt..sometimes you hurt to much to even cry, and you feel paralized and unable to get back up..and when you do get back up the hurt has caused you to put on a lot of padding to keep any more fast balls from hitting you. Only that padding also protects you from the hug that will comfort you, which ends up being a problem. the padding also does another job..it makes it harder to move and walk through life, you end up walking slower then a turtle while waddling like a penguin with all the protection you have put on. Then one day as you watch someone run past you and you want so badly to keep up you take the padding off..But because you have been wearing the padding for so long you are limp without it and you end up falling over face first and crying...letting out your frustration, your pain and then once you stand up again you realize your bruises they have healed and you just have to learn how to run through life again, instead of walking slow like a turtle or waddling down the path like a penguin.
That is until the next fast ball hits you and slows you down again
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