It isn't like I thought it would be

I have struggled off and on in life with memories and my dad being who he is or now who he was. And the anger that comes with that and the sadness.
And I really thought in my head that when he died it would all go away. or it wouldnt bug me as much. But man was I wrong. Him dying seems to have made it worse..there are added feelings of guilt, and sadness a different kind of sadness, and hurt.
But just like everything else in life, I will put one foot infront of the other deal with the moment and in the end be just fine.